Author: Dr. Steroids

So we know who is the final. It’s Soccereptune versus Socceruto and this time the home utos outnumber the away eptunes by a two to one margin. The media has used up all the clichés they could muster pre game and all that remains is for ninety minutes of action to decide the Galaxy champions for 2000. FGFA (Federation of Galaxy Football Associations) officials, visiting dignitaries, President elect Gore Bushuto and the 224,000 paying customerutos inside the Stadium of Lightuto are joined via satellite by too many millions of viewers galaxy wide. I, of course, possess the only satellite capable…

Gary Bettman woke up the other day, got the milk out, sniffed it, found it had gone sour, then put it back in the ‘frig and hoped it would taste ok tomorrow. That sounds like the thinking behind the Commish’s latest brainstorm to improve the officiating in the NHL. This year, he says, the refs are not simply going to enforce the rules. No, says he, this year they are really, really going to enforce the rules. Yo, dog, queue up the loop tape. Hockey fans heard him promise better officiating a year ago about this time, and the year…

As the NHL continues to dilute its talent pool by awarding major league franchises to bush league towns, the sensible person might think the league would take serious steps to protect the players who can actually play the game. But, if we know anything about the NHL, we know it’s run by the judgment impaired. One year the crease is off-limits and the next year it’s not. Marty McSorley is banished for whacking Donald Brashear in the head with his stick, but Scott Neidermeyer gets a wrist-slap for trying to decapitate Peter Worrell. And instead of letting the tough guys…

Once upon a time in a galaxy far far away, an amazing soccer tournament was being held. The planets that qualified for the finals were Socceranus, Socceraturn, Socceruto and Soccereptune. In all of Jean Luc’s travels, the Enterprise had never stumbled across this galaxy and history has not recorded these events up to now. The games took place on Socceruto and they were heavily favoured to win outright. Nothing else existed on Socceruto except soccer. There was no racism, no politics, no wars, only soccer. The players were easily identified since their names matched their planet. This was a commentator’s…

One question comes into mind every time someone insults the integrity of professional wrestling as a sport; is it really a sport or a soap opera on steroids(no pun intended here)? This is a question that has plagued fans and critics alike since its invention at the turn of the twentieth century. There is no easy answer, however. It becomes necessary to look at the foundations of professional wrestling for a clue to its true nature. SOAP OPERA: The nature of professional wrestling lends itself very easily to the soap opera format. The definition of sopa opera is simply a…

Turning to any WWF event, you can not help but see the love triangle between HHH, his wife Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, and Olympic hero, Kurt Angle. There have been speculations and rumors galore. Well, I am going to give you my take on the WHOLE situation. Let’s start from the beginning. When Triple H and Stephanie first married it was for power and head games. Stephanie wanted to get back at her father for using her, and Triple H wanted to gain the WWF World Championship. A marriage of convenience, I’d say. Kurt Angle came on the scene shortly thereafter. We…

In this exclusive interview, Young talked a little bit of baseball, but also showed himself to be a huge wrestling fan. His thoughts on his team, on the wrestling business, and on Brian Pillman should appeal to Reds fans and wrestling fans alike. Thanks for taking the time to speak with me, Dmitri… and I guess the first question I’ve got is to find out what brought you guys out here tonight. Was it the chance to be part of a show, or just the fact that you’re all fans? Well, actually, myself, Danny and Sean, we’re all avid wrestling…

Liverpool got a great signing recently when Paul Gasgoigne penned a two-year deal with Everton. Walter Smith must have lost it completely to think that Gazza can influence a Premier League game more than three years after his last performance of any note. (from a soccer playing point of view, that is). At least that’s the obvious argument just as we all thought Gazza would follow the mighty dollar to Australia or the USA via the MLS. He would have been welcomed and probably adored there while being given a fair chance to influence games that he may well have…

So we’re back in Vancouver, the hotbed of the world’s game, to watch the final of Euro 2000 live. This is supposed to be the battle of the French flair going forward against the Italian stonewall defence. Yeah right. So I expect the Italians to attack more first half and the French to be patient. The Italians know that they have to score first so why not attack. The much vaunted French attack just happens to be supplemented by a back four who have played together as a unit twenty five times and never lost. Now you know why they…

The concept of music in wrestling is nothing new. Wrestlers have for many years entered the ring to a theme song. Only in recent years have those themes become as important to the fan as to the wrestler. The entrance themes have been transformed from the drab “Pomp and Circumstance” of The Macho Man or “Also Sprach Zarathustra” of Ric Flair to the more edgy and pumping rhythms of Test’s “This Is a Test” or Edge’s “On the Edge.” With releases of albums containing the entrance themes of wrestlers, the sports entertainment industry has added yet another facet to this…