Martial Rant #4 – Kimbo Slice, Krusty the Klown, Royce Gracie, UFC 104

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Martial Rant #4 – Kimbo Slice, Krusty the Klown, Royce Gracie, UFC 104

Why does Kimbo Slice get so much damn press?  At best he’s a preliminary fighter with the exception of actual potential.  Chuck Liddell and Tito Ortiz both were preliminary fighters who went on and became legitimate legends in the sport of MMA.  There are guys fighting on undercard shows all the time who one day might became a beast for their organization.  Kimbo Slice will not.  He is a sideshow and would fit in perfectly if Pride Fighting Championship was still running circus acts in Japan.

I’m glad Roy Nelson beat him on The Ultimate Fighter and from here on out I promise to never mention his name in another one of my articles…until he actually beats someone who is relevant in the sport.  If the rumors are true, I hope Keenan Ivory Wayans, the steroid edition, known as Houston Alexander puts him to sleep.

If by chance I do have to reference him(Kimbo), he will be referred to as Krusty the Klown.

Less than two weeks away UFC 104 will take place and yet again Diann Brizzolara denied me a media credential.  Maybe it wasn’t her directly but I still love her.  She’s been nothing but professional and courteous to me in all of our interactions and I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before she gives me the Thumbs Up (hint hint).

Why Lyoto Machida isn’t a bigger star to the mainstream fans is a surprise to me.  Actually it isn’t.  Lyoto entered the Octagon having beaten the likes of BJ Penn and Rich Franklin but didn’t exactly electrify with his unanimous decision wins where he’d hit and run.  His last two victories over Thiago Silva and Rashad Evans have bolstered his stock, another dismantling over “Shogun” Rua should propel him to Anderson Silva status.

I’m thinking Lyoto wins first round knock out.  I don’t buy into him(Shogun) being BACK.  He was horrible in his loss to Forrest Griffin and looked just as bad in his win over Mark Coleman.  Sure he knocked out Chuck Liddell, but so hasn’t everyone.  Lyoto is just to elusive and slick for Rua to catch and do significant damage.  Even if Rua were to catch him in the clinch, I can easily see “The Dragon” turning things to his advantage.

The other fight on the card with seriousness, features the “The Great Brown Hope” Cain Velásquez putting his perfect record against “Big” Ben Rothwell.

Velásquez is coming off a mediocre performance over Cheick Kongo where he came away with a 3 round decision.  Although Cain was able to dominate, weaknesses were exposed.  His stand up is light years away from allowing him to dominate the heavyweight division.

Rothwell enters the UFC as a holdover from Affliction.  Although he only fought once under the Affliction banner, his perfect streak during his time in the IFL and bout against former champ Andre Arvloski proved enough to the UFC brass he is worth of being on their poster.

I’d like to see Cain come away with the win but I just don’t see him being able to take the big man down for the full three rounds.  If Rothwell is able to negate the take down from Velásquez, as I think he will, I don’t believe Cain can is capable of standing with the bigger man.

Prediction:  Rothwell by 3rd round stoppage….which means Cain will win in the first round.  I’m horrible at predictions.

How awesome is it that almost nobody cares about the UFC card in England?  Vera has nothing to lose and everything to gain.  Randy will continue to “amaze” us for fighting at his age.

The real main event for that event should be Jake Shields versus Jason “Mayhem” Miller.  Yes they’re fighting on the undercard of Rogers vs Fedor(a) but I bet you the hardcore fans will be waiting for this fight.

I don’t believe enough fans have been exposed to the skills of Jake Shields or Mayhem.  I feel like I should be downloading past bouts featuring both of these guys and passing them around to everyone I know and telling them, “YO THIS GUY IS CRAZY”.

Sort of like the guy at work who gives you a hip hop mix tape featuring himself or an already discovered artist, yet feel they are the next big thing or have already discovered this ALREADY signed artist.

My point is being…SIGN JAKE SHIELDS.  We need to see this guy to fight against some real competition and Miller needs another crack in the big leagues.

Who’s with me on this idea?  The Ultimate Fighter: Legends Edition.  The true story of 16 fighters signed to live in a house and beat the sh*t out of each other.

If Dana White can get Royce Gracie, Ken Shamrock, Pat Smith, Kimo, Dan Severn, Oleg Taktarov, Don Frye, Tank Abbott, Paul Varlens, Marco Ruas, Frank Shamrock, Bas Rutten, Cabbage Corriera, Mark Kerr, Kevin Randleman, and Tim Syliva, into one house together, he will truly prove he is God.

Sure the weight classes would take some figuring out, but all those guys inside one house would make for some classic television.  In all seriousness, it should just be a matter of time before a legends show is put together.  If the TUF: The Comeback can revive the careers of Matt Serra and Patrick Cote, I’m sure a “Legends” edition would give us both a ratings “topper” and a “jumping the shark” moment.

Until next time I say to you, “Support the Sport” and YOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYO.


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