Who Would Win In A Fight Between…?

Who WOULD win in a fight between the Saints and Colts? I don’t mean to discount other teams that are playing very well (namely the Bengals and the Vikings) but all indications would point to a New Orleans/Indy Super Bowl that will be played outside in sunny South Florida (on my birthday no less.) Just imagine the scene with Peyton Manning and Drew Brees taking turns slinging the ball all over the place. Each team running because it looks good to have balance but only running so they can just throw the ball more. Each team’s defense standing back in awe saying “How in the hell do we defend against this madness?” Each team’s coach stalking the sideline in stoic grandeur as his team racks up points and then their opponent racks up points and they just take turns until the 60 minutes are up and one team doesn’t have enough time to make one more drive to score yet again.

If I had to pick who’s going to the Super Bowl right now I’d have to pick the Saints and the Colts because I think that they can be there (and pretty easily) but then I got into a debate yesterday with a friend over who would win the game and why. We were actually in violent agreement…I mean, we were talking about the same thing (and we had a teenager there who agreed with us too) but we were all taking different perspectives of the same argument…the Colts would win.

My buddy’s take was that Peyton can just control the game. He can come to the line of scrimmage EVERY DOWN and audible something somewhere to somebody and confuse the hell out of the Saints defense.

The teenager’s take was that Drew Brees is great but he has no experience running through the playoffs like we all think he’ll be doing this year. Yeah, it sounds great to say he would just sweep into the Super Bowl and take it home, but he has no experience DOING that and that will be his Achilles heel.

My take is simple…when Peyton Manning throws the ball it looks like he’s throwing downhill.Literally downhill.It’s as if he’s 20 feet tall and he’s pitching the ball down to the little ants on the field.You see, when Drew Brees slings the ball all over the field it doesn’t take very long, but when Peyton does the exact same thing it can take forever.My buddy’s right.Peyton can control the tempo of a game in a way that no other Quarterback since Joe Montana can.I know both teams would score a lot of points and it would be a bloody match, but in the end I just don’t think that the Saints would have enough time to score enough points to keep up with the Colts.

Now, you could take my words and turn them around on me and say “Well, if the Saints don’t take that long to score then they’ll just zip down the field and score a lot, get one stop on defense and the game is over because the Colts will take too long to score.” Well, that’s a really good argument and you’ve just totally blown up my theory…except for this one thing:

If Peyton Manning can control the tempo of the game that means he can go faster if he needs to. He can take 8 minutes to go 88 yards on a scoring drive or he can take 45 seconds. Therein lies the difference. Drew Brees only knows how to do it one way. Peyton Manning can do it all ways and all at once if necessary. Right now…I’m taking the Colts on tempo alone…but the score would be something like:

IND – 56 NO – 48

There’s a Real Fight Around the Corner Too!

You know, Floyd Mayweather Jr. has agreed to fight Manny Pacquiao and I’m jazzed for this one. (Oh, I guess I should give you some background since I’ve never talking about Boxing here before.) I remember the old Tuesday Night Fights that featured smaller fighters (like Pacquiao and Mayweather) and this was on EVERY week. I remember when the Heavyweights were great and all, but everyone wanted to see Sugar Ray Leonard, Tommy “The Hitman” Hearns, and “Marvelous” Marvin Hagler more than they wanted to see the new breed of Heavyweights. I mean, even when Mike Tyson ascended to glory when he was but a wee tot the smaller weight classes didn’t suffer. Sugar Ray Leonard came out of retirement to fight Hagler and Hearns fought long past his prime, but everybody loved these guys and watched them constantly.

I have lamented to my Dad on NUMEROUS occasions the lack of good Boxing in the 90’s and 2000’s (the oughts…whatever) and everytime he says “Son, little fighters don’t sell anymore.”Now, you can argue for Ricky Hatton and Oscar de la Hoya and guys like that, but they weren’t transcendent.Not like Pacquiao.

I’ve heard some people talk about Roy Jones Jr. as one of the greatest pound for pound and I would agree, but he didn’t capture our attention. I mean, he also has a huge collection of Jordans, plays basketball, medaled at the Olympics, and fought in larger weight classes. He never captured our attention the way that guys like Leonard, Hearns and Hagler did. I wish he had, but he just didn’t. I can’t explain…I just know that’s the way it is.

Then comes along this Pacquiao guy. I remember thinking that Ricky Hatton (a salty Brit who is ALL “bruiser”. I mean, this guy walks around with scars from bar fights on him everyday, right?) was going to DESTROY a skinny little dude like Pacquiao. I mean, kill him like Drago did to Apollo Creed in “Rocky 4”. I mean, look at Manny Pacquiao and tell me that he looks like he’s a fighter anyways. He looks like Mark Anthony (only Filipino) and he SINGS TOO. THIS GUY CANNOT BE A PRIZE-FIGHTER! So, I went around all week before the Hatton/Pacquiao fight saying “This is Ricky Hatton’s day and Manny Pacquiao is going to die.” Then…

I watched the fight.Pacquiao looks like he’s jumping when he punches.No really, it’s like a video game.Remember “Double Dragon”?Remember how on that game all the kicks and punches shot your character forward on the screen and if you kept doing that you could push the bad guys off the screen?Yeah, that’s what Pacquiao does.He jumps forward when he punches and pushes you back to the ropes.I had no idea he was THAT powerful.Anyways, he beat the ever-loving mess out of Hatton and I was proven wrong.Then he fought Miguel Cotto and beat the hell out of him too.Now, we have this Mayweather/Pacquiao fight in the works and I love this conversation we have to have.

People all over the place are going to say that Mayweather is one of the best to ever do it and I would tend to agree, but how can you pick Mayweather to win a fight like this at 147 lbs. where Pacquiao is playing a video game and Mayweather is playing real life.This kind of disbelief in the power of Pacquiao has been proven to be unwise so many times that I don’t know how in the world you can say he will lose.

Listen, Mayweather’s going to flap his yap and he’s going to work like a dog to get ready for this thing, but at the end of the day he’s going to be sitting on the ropes right where Pacquiao put him with his “jump-punching” or jupunching if you like.I know they haven’t even really agreed on it yet, and Jerry Jones is trying to get the fight in Dallas, but this one need to go down at Caesar’s in Vegas like a fight of this magnitude should.

I even heard that each fighter might make $40 million of this thing.This could be the fight of the decade if it goes right…man I hope it does.

There’s Not Enough Fighting in the NFL…

Who would win in a fight between the Ravens and the Steelers? Both teams are 6-5, both teams are in kind of a funk (although Baltimore went a long way in getting out of theirs by coming back on the Steelers last week) but the Steelers were looking ok until they gave that game away against the Ravens. They’re going to have to do this all over again on Dec. 27th and that may be the game that decides who gets a wildcard spot and who doesn’t. Yes, they’re still in contention with Jacksonville and Denver for the 2 wildcard slots in the AFC, but I really think that will be the deciding game in the AFC for one of the wildcard berths.

Who wins the fight? You want me to tell you? Well, given that the Steelers are having issues with Big Ben (he gets hurt a lot and now Dennis Dixon is filling in for him) and the Ravens have their team fairly well intact then I would have to pick the Ravens. Now, I did this last year for the AFC Title Game and the Ravens lost that one, but if I HAD to do it right now I’d take the Ravens just based on momentum and the current makeup of their team. (They’re using Haloti Ngata on power running sets on offense. For all that is holy!!! Tell me this isn’t true because if it is and the Ravens get in the playoffs and they meet the Colts this might be an issue for my whole Colts/Saints Super Bowl argument.)

I know I said earlier in the season that I thought it might be remotely possible for 3 teams from the same division (the AFC North) to make the playoffs and I guess it’s possible, but:

The Broncos are going to have to stall because they are currently at 7-4 and the Ravens and Steelers are currently at 6-5. I don’t know how that would all work since Denver gets to play K.C. and Oakland 3 out of their last 5 games (I mean, don’t those all sound like guaranteed wins?) Then again, the Ravens get to play Detroit, Chicago, and Oakland in 3 of their last 5 games and the Steelers get Oakland, Cleveland and Miami in 3 of their last 5. Don’t the Broncos sound like they have the easiest road to mess up my “3 teams from one division can make the playoffs” scenario? Yeah, they do. We also thought they were going 14-2 after they started so strong this season. Once again, that’s why I don’t bet on sports…

In the NFC it’s the Giants, Philly, Atlanta, Green Bay and San Francisco all doing a “Royal Cage Match” to decide who’s getting the two coveted wildcard spots. For me, it gets down to this. If the Falcons lose to the Eagles this weekend (which I don’t foresee, but I have been wrong…every now and then ;o) then the Falcons are done.

If the 49ers go on a tear and everyone else starts to falter they might have a chance (their chance would begin with the Falcons losing this Sunday to the Eagles.) Philly gets to play the 49ers and the Giants in their last 5 games so guess what Iggles fans? If you can win those two games you’re probably in…why? Because you’ll have the tiebreaker on the Giants PLUS the Packers have to play the Steelers AND the Ravens in their last 5 games. The Steelers and Ravens know there is a slim chance of both of them getting into the playoffs with Cincy ahead of them so they’re going to claw someone’s (the Packers) eyeballs out to get there. So, that means Green Bay is done…stick a fork in ‘em.

Who did that leave? My 49ers: Who I think can go on a tear and put themselves in the playoffs. They get Seattle, Detroit, St. Louis and a safe Iggles team in 4 of their last 5. Who’s the 5th game? Against the Cardinals who they aren’t going to catch anyways…

So, there you have it. The General says:

The Steelers and Ravens take the wildcards in the AFC

And

The Iggles and 49ers take the wildcards in the NFC

Whew!!

Just one more thing…

You know Columbo would be asking himself “What if the Bama beats Florida and Texas loses to Nebraska on Saturday?”

You know what’s going to happen? Everything is going to be jacked to Jesus. Imagine the implications of a Texas loss and a Bama win. That means Cincinnati HAS to beat Pitt and then they have to pray like they’ve never prayed that the computers put them ahead of TCU in the final BCS standings. Both TCU and Cincinnati will have a case for why they should be in the Title Game. Those who like the current format will argue that the team with the tougher schedule should get in because they “played better competition” and those who hate this system will start screaming for a playoff so we can settle this thing.

Let’s say Cincinnati (on that day that would for SURE live in infamy) lost (like idiots) to Pitt. Then you have TCU (undefeated) and Bama (undefeated) playing in the National Title game.
Why have I not brought up the prospect of Florida winning the SEC Title Game? Well, it’s quite simple. If Florida wins the SEC Title all of this stuff would play out with Florida in Bama’s place. But…

If Bama wins and all of this other stuff happens who’s to say that the BCS wouldn’t just put Florida and Bama in the BCS Title Game and let them play ANOTHER rematch? Would you put that past the BCS? I wouldn’t. Not in a million years.

What’s more likely to happen? Texas wins and the winner of the SEC Title plays them in the BCS Title Game, but oh how I want this to get cosmically screwed up so badly. The image of sweaty college presidents pounding pack after pack of cigs trying to figure out where they went wrong is just too alluring for me to pass up.

Dr. Steroids

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