NFL Trade Bait 2009 {Plus, Playoff Baseball and “How Dare You?”}

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NFL Trade Bait 2009 {Plus, Playoff Baseball and “How Dare You?”}

The Trade Deadline is Tuesday and I want to speculate on some people who need to be included in “last minute” trades.  I’m not going to embarrass myself by pretending to know where these guys should go…I just know they need to go.  NOW!


Let’s start with Turrull.  Buffalo picked him up because they thought he would be a nice addition to their offense.  Another big target for Trent Edwards.  Here’s the problem…the Bills stink, they’re probably moving to Toronto, and Turrull is not the same player he was just a few years ago.  Since Buffalo is going nowhere (anytime soon) they need to attempt to get value for Turrull before he starts whining (apparently he’s been sweet, but how long will that last?)  Simply moving Turrull for ANYTHING is a victory for a Buffalo team that is hurting in every department.  Basically, they have Marshawn Lynch and half a Quarterback…that ain’t enough.  I bet he could fetch a 2nd Rounder if he’s traded to the right team…I know Randy Moss went for less, but Turrull’s never taken plays off or left the field before the end of a game unless he was injured.

I keep seeing Brady Quinn pop up all over the place, but why? You have an ill-equipped coach (Doofgini) and you just fired your GM after last season.  If Doofgini doesn’t know what he’s doing at Quarterback and you HAVE TO trade a QB then trade Derek Anderson.  Brady Quinn could be Matt Ryan or Joe Flacco if he had a decent coach.  Do something about the coaching, get some value for Derek Anderson (weapons for Brady Quinn…or an OLine, anything) and then move forward.  The Browns can turn this thing around (not until next season) but they can turn this thing around.  Just don’t trade the future when he hasn’t had a fair shake.

Shawne Merriman is the hot item over on the west coast.  I can see why a pretender like San Diego would wan to trade a malcontent (and maniac) in a contract year.  This kind of lunatic might implode at any minute, he already hates A.J. Smith, and he’ll probably bounce after this season.  Here’s the problem:  There are lots of reasons to trade him and get value (and maybe character guys), but he’s so good that maybe you should franchise him to death use that as your vehicle to keep him around instead of fretting over this.  There are more pressing needs (and they’re on defense) and if you move Merriman and the defense becomes weaker you’re only to make those other needs more glaring. This wouldn’t be addition by subtraction (like the T’Wolves thought they were doing with KG)…no, this would be division by subtraction.  If Merriman is as well liked in the locker room as everyone says he is then you might divide your locker room over this.  I don’t think it’s worth the risk.

Guys Who Need to go…

Vince Young is the crown jewel of my trade push this season.  The Titans put him in in the 3rd Quarter for the 2nd straight week and he didn’t complete a pass.  While he was in the game the Patriots basically stopped trying and toyed with the Titans.  After Tennessee lost the game 59-0…you heard it right, 59-0, I can imagine that Vince wasn’t all that confident.  If the Titans didn’t start him in this game what the hell are they waiting for?  They clearly have no idea what they’re going to do with him.  That tells me that they need to move him and get value.  If they wait for another second and he’s still around (and not completing passes) they will like they are stuck in a QB conundrum.  This way, if he traded they can get something nice back for him, make a late-season push to preserve their dignity, pick the middle of the 1st Round and develop a new QB.  Kerry Collins isn’t the problem…his whole team is in shambles.  Holding out hope for one kid (who apparently wanted to off himself) is bad for everyone.  Vince can still be a player in this league, just not in Nashville.

The Raiders need to forfeit all the rest of their games and start all over.  If I’m being honest I would trade Jamarcus Russell, Darius Heyward-Bey, and about half the starting defense.  No matter what they do they will make a top 3 pick and they will be able to get a REAL QB (not Russell because he just can’t do it.) When they’re working on the defense they should trade Richard Seymour first simply out of respect.  He is in hell and he deserves better.  When they move all of their offensive pieces the next thing they should do is take mostly defensive players for them.  The offense is so bad the difference can’t be made in trade fodder, but if they build their defense now they can be ready for next season, draft a new Quarterback, get him a running back and 2 receivers in rounds 3-7 and make a clean start next season.  {If I’m being really honest I would trade the Raiders to the CFL for the Argonauts.  I mean, that’s a cool name for a team, right?  Plus, it would free up room in Toronto for the Bills.  The Raiders can be the CFL’s first American expansion franchise.  Or maybe we could trade them to College Football for Alabama or LSU.  That would be nice.}

The Chefs are the other team that I would completely obliterate.  Ok, I know I said I wouldn’t propose trade destinations but I just had the best idea.  Matt Cassel, for me, is the bust of the Millennium.  Trade him to the Browns (one of only two teams worse than you) for Derek Anderson.  You get a veteran gun and the Brown are just dumb enough to make the move.  Why not?  Doofgini already has no idea what he’s doing.  I don’t expect this trade to happen, but tell you would be surprised if you saw it crawl across the ticker.  You can’t.

Honestly, the Chefs need to move every offensive piece they have for defensive pieces.  Then they need to give up on this season.  Find Matt Cassel a Left Tackle high in next year’s draft, get him two receivers, a tight end, a running back and a partridge and a pear tree in next year’s draft.  Tell him next year will be better and take the whoopings you’re going to get this year and hope for the best next year.

I know none of these things will happen…but a guy can dream can’t he?

Playoff Baseball Takes Off…

As of the keystrokes of this column the Yankees have evened their Game 3 matchup with the Angels.  They were behind and then they caught back up.  The Angels are “off” and I don’t think it can be fixed.  Somewhere along the way the Angels lost their mojo and I think the Yankees.  I think this might a serious case of “hand” that the Yankees have slapped the Angels with.

I know I was a Yankee hater when these playoffs started, but they are cooking and I’m not going to deny how well they are playing.  It seems with every passing inning they get a break that keeps them in playoff games.  Plus, A-Rod is hitting big in late innings.  Who would’ve thought that would happen?  I think it’s all hand.  They have the pimp hand out and they are slapping everyone silly with it.  How can we explain the fact that a team that didn’t make the playoffs last year and couldn’t put one foot in front of the other in the 3 or 4 postseasons before that can suddenly get timely hits and turn any game in their favor.  They have “hand”.  That’s it over there…the look of the Yankees “hand” about to slap you upside the face.  I think they are going to be equal opportunity slappers…and even a hot Philly team won’t be able to handle them…

The Phillies have the Dodgers number.  I know they lost a game to LA, but they are in control of this series now.  Joe Torre is a Hal of Famer, but I don’t think he has an answer for a Philly team that “figured out” the Dodgers after they lost Game 1.  At this point the Dodgers can only pray that the Phillies forgot whatever they learned after Game 1.  I’m much more excited about the possibilities of a World Series matchup now that the favorites are showing their faces.

A Yankees/Phillies World Series Would Be a Slugfest For The Ages…

If you recall, I’ve picked NFC East games before and compared the matchup to two guys standing in place and punching each other in the face over and over.  I think Yankees v. Phillies would produce the same kind of bloodshed.  Why wouldn’t two teams with monster rotations, timely hitting, and Hall of Fame potential power hitters make a World Series for all of time?

Howard v. Rodriguez?

Werth v. Jeter?

Rollins v. Texeira?

Tell me that doesn’t excite you!  What about the pitching?  Lee, Hamels and Lidge squaring off against C.C., Burnett, and Rivera.  I’m just hoping that each game goes down o the last inning or the last at-bat, otherwise I don’t think we’ll be getting our money’s worth.    I would feel deflated if this was a sweep or a 5 Game Series.  It would feel like having ringside tickets for a Heavyweight Title Fight (not now, I mean, like in the 80’s) sitting through a few crappy undercards and then seeing a 1st Round TKO.  Yuck!  Please Yanks and Phils…come through for us.  The season is far too long to have it end badly.

How Dare You…

This is a new segment where I can ask this question of some people in sports (knowing that I won’t get an answer, but I just want to get it off my chest.)

How Dare You…

Bob Stoops, Pete Carroll, Urban Meyer, and any other college coach who’s going to tell a kid NOT to run to the NFL when they are going to make tens of millions of dollars in guaranteed money.  Sam Bradford would have gone before Matthew Stafford (more than likely) in last year’s draft and we know how much Stafford got guaranteed.  Now Bradford has a Heisman and a bad throwing shoulder that he has hurt twice this season.  Not only that, but this last injury, against Texas, was on a routine hit.  Do you think anyone is taking him in the 1st Round now that they think he is injury-prone?  Sam Bradford went from printing his own money to PRAYING he doesn’t slip past the very top of the 2nd Round.  He probably lost at least $30 Million and he can’t get it back.  Now he has no chance at a Title (the only reason Bob Stoops would tell him to come back to school, a Heisman he can’t pay his mortgage with, and a bad throwing shoulder.  That’s not a good combo.  All I can say is that I’m glad Mark Sanchez DIDN’T listen to Pete Carroll.

Dan Snyder for hiring Jim Zorn to be your Offensive Coordinator, then being too lazy to find a quality Head Coach, promoting Zorn to Head Coach and then demoting him from play-calling duties because he really isn’t ready to be a Head Coach.  If the Redskins Nation wants to blame someone they need only look to their Owner.  Dan Snyder created this mess and now he’s trying to clean it up by publicly demoting the ill-equipped coach that he hired.  Hey Danny Boy!  Instead of demoting Zorn why don’t you find him an Assistant Head Coach who can do some of the Head Coach’s duties, show Zorn the ropes, and allow him time to actually fix his cracker jack offense?  I know you won’t do it, but it’s all your fault.  How are you going to fix it!?

and finally…

Dante Wesley for elbowing Clifton Smith in the face during a meaningless punt, of a meaningless game, between two meaningless teams.  I know that we don’t want teams to quit, but don’t the Bucs and Panthers know they suck?  Doesn’t Dante Wesley know that decking someone on the Bucs isn’t doing anything for anybody, especially with 10 seconds left in the 1st half?  Not only is there no excuse for the Panthers this season but there really is no excuse for you sir.  When did you decide you going to try to remove this man’s head from his neck?  That is one of the most vicious (and intentional) dirty hits I’ve ever seen.  I take back everything I said about Rodney Harrison being the dirtiest player in Football…Dante Wesley takes the cake.

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