Well, I run off to work today and in the quagmire that is my day job I didn’t hear about Charlie Weis getting fired immediately. However, I did get in the car and hear about it within 5 seconds of having the radio on sports talk (I listen to 790 down here…mainly because they aren’t homers, although they do have “Chuck and Chernoff” on 680, but the rest of the station just isn’t very good.) Anyways, so I started thinking about the firing and what that really means. I know I’ve talked about this but I think we need to get a little deeper.
Charlie Weis has an $18 million buyout and now he’s set so I don’t feel bad for him at all even though getting fired sucks any way you look at it. The problem for Charlie Weis is he wanted to be surly like Bill Belichick and forthright like an Urban Meyer or Nick Saban and I don’t think he realized that those two things don’t go together. You can’t come and say “6-5 isn’t good enough” and then be stuck with 6-5 and already be on the hot seat. That’s like wearing a sign that says “use my own words against me please!”
So, with this in mind I have some advice for Charlie Weis:
1) Shut the hell up. Shut your mouth. Shut up your stupid mouth. Your cakehole. Do you your buddy Dan a favor and shut your stupid cakehole. Seriously. Shut up. You’re not good at being forthright. Instead of saying that 6-5 wasn’t good enough you have easily said “6-5 is not what we’re looking for around here and we are going to do our damndest to improve.” But did you say that? Nope, you opened your stupid trap and signed your own pink slip. (It also doesn’t help that you can’t coach from the front, but that’s another story.)
2) Smile every now and then, but do it with sincerity. We can tell that when you’re pretending to be jovial it’s totally fake and completely contrived and you look like Glenn Close in “Air Force One” when she says “Damn it how the hell did they get Air Force One!?” (Some of the worst acting in the history of movies. The only worse acting is from Kristina Wayborn in the immortal Bond flick “Octopussy” when she says “I collect…memories…” only she says it like the sentence isn’t over and it’s clear she’s a terrible actor. Yeah, Charlie Weis, you’re almost as bad a cute blonde who can’t act…move to Hollywood and join a club!
3) Run, no sprint, back to the NFL and become an Offensive coordinator again. Honestly, I think you could do it anywhere except the really bad spots like Oakland, KC, and Detroit. Anywhere else you’d be welcomed with open arms, you would most likely prosper and if you’re smart you’ll go stay there (unlike Norv Turner) and go down in history as a Hall of Fame Assistant. But guess what, you’ll be in the hall of fame you big tub of goo!!! How can you beat that. Look at Leo Mazzone…he never took a Manager’s job because he knew he could be an all-timer as a pitching coach. Look at Tex Winter…he stood by Phil Jackson all the way and guess how many rings he has? 9…yeah, he’s a Hall of Fame assistant. So, I ask you Charlie Weis, do you want to be a loser Head Coach who can’t get it done or do you want to be a Hall of Famer as an Assistant? Just shut up…stop acting…and be a lifetime assistant like you were meant to be.
So, where do they go from here? How on earth are they going to attract anyone to a Notre Dame program that has all the talent in the world but can’t win games? Do you find someone who’s crazy enough to take the challenge? Do you hire from within and hope someone else can take the current talent and do something with it? Do you beg Brian Kelly to leave Cincinnati? Do you throw $6 million a year at Urban Meyer and hope it sticks? Do you do what I suggested and go after George O’Leary and beg him to fix it? Do you plead with someone like Jim Harbaugh to bring his “anti-suckinator” from Stanford to South Bend? Now that I think of it…
Jim Harbaugh is a good choice. I know I said they should hire George O’Leary but he, unfortunately, is not a long term option because he’s an older dude. However, Jim Harbaugh comes from a football family. He was a good NFL Quarterback. He’s in the Colts Ring of Honor. He took them to the AFC Title Game in 1995. He’s gone to Stanford and made that program into a dream-killer(which is more than you could ever ask of Stanford than ever before…I mean since John Elway was there {Did you know John Elway’s last college game was the “The Band is on the field” game against Cal?} Anyways, he’s Indiana royalty. The only way it could get better from an Indiana perspective is if they hired Reggie Miller or Peyton Manning or Bobby Knight to coach ND football.
Honestly, I have no idea and right now I don’t care. I mean, how can I even begin to speculate what they will actually do? Clearly the “sound-judgment meter” is on empty in the Notre Dame football department. (We could call it the Athletic Department, but we all know that they could give two rat’s asses about anything besides football.) Where will they move…let’s wait and see. After the jump my look at the weekend’s football action…
Now, I wasn’t in front of the TV all weekend, but I did see a good deal of the Georgia/Georgia Tech game and I saw the ending of the Florida and FSU game. I guess there’s two things that you really come away with from these games.
1) An era just ended in Gainesville and if the Gators bring home another title no one will ever be able to measure up to Tim Tebow in UF. The Swamp will never be the same. Basically, nobody wins. Tebow won’t make it in the NFL (though I’d like to see…I just don’t see it, you know?) Urban Meyer will spend a couple years trying to replace Tebow (and that is reason enough to imagine him running to ND for a “new challenge”) Florida football will most likely end up in a malaise just like Florida Basketball. I can hear all the detractors saying “I Urban Meyer will just reload and Florida will give a go again next year” but you don’t reload players this great.
You see, I told you I’d involve my Dad in this “Is Tim Tebow the best college football player ever” conversation and his immediate-without-a-thought-no-doubt answer was “no”. I said “who’s better?” and he said (without hesitation again) “Hershel Walker”. He went on the explain that you can’t really compare because the eras were so different, but if there was a way to measure this (since they are both offensive players who run the ball alot) then he would do this:
Put them both in front of a big, mean Defensive Line and give them the ball and tell them to get “across the road” as it were. In my Dad’s estimation (and I believe him when he says this) “Hershel could run over anybody…maybe even today’s D Linemen. Tebow would have to go around.” That said enough for me. He also figures that Hershel maybe should have won the Heisman in 1980 instead of George Rogers, but they probably would never give it to a freshman anyways so that’s a moot point but if I had been old enough to care I’d know what he meant.
As for the entirety of the argument he says that Tebow is ONE of the best, but not THE best and that should be good enough. It is for me.
2) Georgia/Georgia Tech only served two purposes…to screw up GT’s ranking and allow UGA to keep the coaches they have in place. By winning against Tech Mark Richt bought Willie Martinez and Mike Bobo some time to not their jobs effectively. Georgia Tech probably never would have in the National Title conversation anyways (but it was nice to speculate) and they can still beat Clemson in the ACC Title game and make it their first BCS bowl. So, basically, Georgia Tech can learn from it’s mistakes, still make alot of money for their school, appear in the BCS, and reload for next year (because they’re starting to kill Georgia in the southeast as far as recruiting goes) and UGA gets to keep their coaches in their current roles, not reevaluate and run the risk of doing this season again next season. Yikes!
Basically, nobody won. Georgia Tech had a dreamy run interrupted and UGA is going to allow itself to be in a lull that may last a little too long for their taste.
3) Vince Young marched the Titans down the field and won another game in come-from-behind fashion and now I must completely eat all of my crow right now.
I thought Vince was done in Tennessee and he needed a change of scenery because I thought Jeff Fisher was also over it. I was wrong. I guess having a breakdown and sitting for a full season was what he needed to learn to be an effective Quarterback in the long-term in the NFL. I think this says something about his attitude that we were missing before. We all thought he was just soft and he couldn’t handle it when everyone was booing him and his mama was telling the press that her baby was “hurting”. I think what we were missing was the intention of the message…what it really meant was “I cannot stand being booed when I’ve done so much and I’m still learning! I’m not perfect, but I’m trying dammit and why can’t people freaking understand that? Yeah, that would have been a much better interpretation of what was going on, but we all missed on it…including me. Sorry Vince, you’re rocking it and you are about to make Chris Johnson look very smart.
4. There is such a big difference between Orlando and Jacksonville sports. Everyone in Orlando is a total homer who has no perspective on their team at all. It’s really quite pathetic. I was down there during the East Finals and I remember the Magic broadcast team being total oblivious to how badly they were going to die against the Lakers after they had taken down a clearly overmatched Cleveland team. It was pathetic to listen to.
Get on the highway and start listening to Jacksonville radio broadcasts and you hear a completely different tale. These guys where asking why the Jags couldn’t hold a lead, why they couldn’t protect David Garrard, why he wasn’t being that productive, why he was throwing bad passes, why the defense wasn’t tackling well…they were just killing them. It’s such an interesting dichotomy for two cities that aren’t really that far apart. Folks in Jacksonville freaking expect something from their team and they are willing to be honest about it. Folks in Orlando have no interest in being honest with themselves about their teams and it doesn’t help the team at all. The team improves when the fans are asking questions and keeping the club on their toes. It’s just like democracy…only more fun.
I can’t imagine what they say about UCF football down in Orlando. “I know George O’Leary is a cranky, old curmudgeon, but that’s ok as long as he doesn’t kill any kids.” I mean, what should I expect from them based on their assessments of the Magic?
5) I love Westwood One’s broadcasts of football games. They could have Bozo the Clown (RIP) in the booth to do a game it would be good. I don’t know what it is, but they do such a good job. If you’re not catching Westwood One on the radio you should give them a try. The dude calling the Steelers/Ravens game Sunday night was just incredible. He was painting a picture that I could totally imagine as I zipped down 75 back to Atlanta. (I’ll tell you, it’s better than listening to Larry Munson call a Georgia game…UGH…he was the worst announcer EVER!)
6) For as much as Vince Young sat down and learned from Kerry Collins (who isn’t even a Hall of Famer or even close) Matt Leinart has sat around longer and learned less from Kurt Warner (who’s looking more like a Hall of Famer every week.) How in the world can you lose to Vince Young in the ’06 BCS Title Game and not learn anything from getting schooled by the guy who had an argument for winning the Heisman over Reggie Bush (and who would have won it if they voted for it after all the games have been played like they should) and not learn anything from that? Seriously, what happened here? Wasn’t Matt Leinart supposed to be better than Carson Palmer? I remember when Carson Palmer was “just the beginning” at USC and now he’s pretty much the only skill position player to come out of there and really make waves. Wow, how the mighty have fallen.
7) What about the Falcons losing Matt Ryan and Michael Turner and coming back on the Bucs with Chris Redman? Oh yeah, AND having Jason Elam starting sucking for no reason. (Did you know they held an open audition for kickers and they didn’t offer anybody a contract? Thats’ bad….I’m sorry, but that’s bad. Thomas Dimitroff can prove how good he is by finding a better kicker on a scrap heap somewhere.
8. Finally, the Colts and Vikings are just rolling along like it’s no big deal and the Saints are going to show us how they handle pressure tonight when they take on the Patriots in the Superdome. I’m going to sit back and watch, but I’m not seeing it right now…that’s why I cast the Saints as the baffled “M” in my Bond flick. I think I might take down some notes for that one…
This is the part when I come up some witty close, but I have a serious question to ask:
Based on everything we’ve just talked about let’s take a poll.
Who’s the best College Football Player in your mind?
Is Kurt Warner a Hall of Famer?
Is Vince Young fluking us again?
Just wondering…tune in on Wednesday for more from the General.