General Swami’s “NFL Mind Reading”
Today we live with the reality of “coach speak” and “GM speak”. Every “higher up” in the NFL tells us one thing whilst we are charged with deciphering its true meaning.
In this space I have taken to speculating on “Conversations That Never Happened”. Now I want to concentrate on reading the minds of the NFL’s elite. We get to talk about the juicy stuff now!
The Bills say Marshawn Lynch isn’t going anywhere despite rumors he’s on the trading block. Brandon Marshall just got traded to the Dolphins and received a $48.5 million extension.
Does that mean the Broncos are jacking up their whole offense even though they claim they like Kyle Orton? The Ravens cut Samari Rolle. Is this the beginning of a focus on offense even though the Ravens would never admit it?
Let’s read the minds of some NFL big-wigs and see what they’re really thinking.
Ravens Head Coach John Harbaugh
Josh McDaniels has already made a trade with the Cleveland Browns for Brady Quinn. Now he’s saying that Kyle Orton is definitely the starting quarterback in Denver.
“He’s a guy who made the most of an opportunity he was given last year. He still hasn’t been in our system for a calendar year. Year 2, I anticipate he will know more. He’ll be more comfortable in a system.
“Kyle started all but one game for us last year, and he’s got the respect of his teammates and coaches, and we look forward to him improving. Now, Brady’s here competing, and as always, players determine their roles by what they do on the field.”
General Swami will now interpret McDaniels’ thoughts.
“Kyle Orton is a nice guy and I can’t bash him in public. But we just traded for Brady Quinn. I know you people think I’m stupid, but I’m not.”
“Brady Quinn is going to be running this team sooner than you think. Why the hell else would I make the trade in the first place? He isn’t exactly “trade-bait” you know?”
Josh McDaniels is trying to position himself to be in a good situation at quarterback. However, he’s doing it because he thinks he’s smart. He’s also doing it because he’s lazy.
Now he doesn’t have to teach Orton. Orton will just be on eggshells all the time. Oh, and the second the offense starts sucking, he can pull Orton — blame it all on Orton — and put in Quinn.
After that, he can use the, “I just put him in,” and the, “This is his first year in the system,” excuses for another year.
Josh McDaniels is buffering his own job — NOT the health of the franchise. In “Swami Talk”— he’s a selfish brat.
General Swami Looks Into His Crystal Ball
Given that I have read the minds of three workaholics, I am a little tired, but I will grace you with my predictions for these men’s “delicate conditions.”
John Harbaugh will win a Super Bowl — eventually — with an offense-oriented Ravens’ team. You know it’s coming.
Buddy Nix, Chan Gailey and everybody else in Buffalo will get fired. Not because they didn’t try, but because they are not savvy. They need to learn how to fool everyone — even me.
Josh McDaniels will buy himself a couple years when he throws Quinn on the field. He’ll try the “bait and switch” again and Pat Bowlen will catch on — then fire him.
On a related note — recordings of sobbing voice mails from Pat Bowlen to Mike Shanahan will hit the Internet just after McDaniels’ ouster.