Hail King Kevin
So King Kevin’s first arrival is upon us. I like Keegan. He’s good. He has displayed courage, intelligence, and skill throughout his playing and managerial career. Allied to this, his business acumen is Fortune 500-worthy – at least in terms of personal finance. Is he the answer to England’s woes? Ah! Where does that hindsight go when you need it. Even he doesn’t know the answer to that one yet. But by claiming that the timing is not quite right for him, how he can only do the next few European Championships qualifying games before he locks in the rewards awaiting him at Fulham, and already indicating that he could then take on the “big” job full time, he has surely played his most masterful stroke of genius to date.
Think about this. England fails to qualify for the Euros. Shock, horror etc., Was it Kevin’s fault? Oh! No – it was that Hoddle fellow got us into this mess – Kevin was just trying to dig us out of a deepening hole. On the other hand, England qualifies. Quiet ripple of applause etc., while the adoration flows. Was it Kevin’s achievement? Yeah! Like totally, man – the guy’s a genius. Pay him what he demands – we need him. With a strike as lethal as he consistently delivered throughout his playing career, King Kevin has scored a remarkable rarity in the game of professional soccer – a can’t-lose scenario in a game for winners.
Not only has he achieved success in the England post before a ball is kicked, but he retained his entitlement to the reported 5% of Mohamed Al Fayed’s shares in Fulham coming his way when they “surprisingly” go public. This is currently valued at 15 million sterling. There’s hardly room on the page to show how many zeros that is in Canadian Dollars. Of course, that just supplements the 1 million sterling per season. I wonder if he had any difficulty accepting the 200,000 sterling for the four ninety-minute shifts involved in this temporary appointment. Not a lot of zeros there but I suppose it’s only four games. Now I’m not really jealous, I love you Kevin. Although I have a pretty good idea of what you are going to say in public, I’m nonetheless looking forward to your first encounter, and the thought struck me that these games perhaps afford you the opportunity to promote more of the swashbuckling Newcastle style we all enjoyed so much when their shares were floating. You are one of the few people that can do it.