The Dirtiest Teams You Didn’t Think Of

Sports franchises get themselves into more trouble than they should.  Why?  They’re sneaky, devious, and deceitful.  You name the disease and they’ve got it.

Some franchises are “fully above board” and it would be hard to say anything negative about them – unless you hated their guts.  The 49ers of the 80s and – well, that’s enough.

Some franchises are downright vile in their approach to players, the media, and their fans.  Don’t confuse this with stupid.  The Lions are stupid, not devious. The Chiefs are just stupid. Hell, even teams like the Braves, Suns, and Jets aren’t devious.  They’re really dumb and it comes across as trickery.

If we look at all of the major sports franchises there are a couple that serve as the “most devious” because of the way they have handled (or are handling) their business.  The list might shock you, but it’s true.

I’m not talking about players here.  I’m talking about how the team manages itself from the front office down to the coach.  We’ll talk about “dirty players” later. The moral of this story is:  Everything that glitters is not gold.

The Redskins

The Washington Redskins are having a PR war with Albert Haynesworth, and it’s a shame because Haynesworth plays well for the ‘Skins.

I just wrote an article where I called Haynesworth fat, lazy, stupid, and arrogant.  I know, that’s pretty harsh, but I really thought he deserved it.  He was showing all the signs of “bitchassness.”

Then Haynesworth comes out this week with a little tidbit of his own about why the Redskins were reporting his “every ailment” to the media:

“I don’t know. I guess make yourself look good, I don’t know. Make me look bad for not going to their offseason conditioning program.  But, I mean, next year, I’m not coming either. I’ll be on my trainer again, and I’ll get back in the same shape I’m in and feel good about myself.”

Obviously Albert is not perfect, but what if he’s right?  Let’s say for the sake of argument that the Redskins are trying to make him look bad. Hasn’t Albert done a good enough job making himself look bad already?  I think he already alienated his teammates and the fans by being out-of-shape and late to camp.

The Redskins taking a shot at Albert to try to make him look bad only makes them look bad.  It’s also changed my opinion of Mike Shanahan.

Shanahan  is obviously a great coach, but maybe he’s so crazy that things only worked when John Elway was around to keep all the players from killing him.  Mike won two Super Bowls, but maybe John Elway was the “de facto coach” of those teams. Shanahan was the figurehead and Elway was running the show.

The confluence of Terrell Davis and John Elway was enough to win a championship, and maybe, just maybe, any of us could have won those titles – with less drama. When Shanahan got too far away from Elway it wasn’t enough.  Mike Shanahan’s best friend, Pat Bowlen, fired him because it wasn’t working anymore. Think about that one, and put the Redskins on your “dirty list.”

The Knicks

I know, I know, saying the Knicks are devious is like saying they’re successful.  I know they suck!

The Knicks are devious like a “bad guy” on a cartoon.  Look at Wile E. Coyote and his attempts to catch the Road Runner and try to deny he’s devious. Wile E. tries time and again to catch the Road Runner and usually ends up in his own trap.  He is devious, but he’s also stupid.

The Knicks are no different. They laid a “trap” for LeBron over the past couple of years.  They dumped salary, tanked a couple seasons, stripped down their entire roster, let Isaiah Thomas ruin the team, and told LeBron he could be a billionaire athlete.

LeBron turned them down and now they’re caught in their own “trap.”  They signed a broken down Amare Stoudamire (bad eye and all) for $100 million. Plus, they have no pieces to put around him.

The Knicks thought they were being clever in their pursuit of LeBron, but they ended up setting the team back about 10 years.  Being devious didn’t make the Knicks smart . . . it made them dead meat.

The Nationals

Once again, I know calling the Nationals devious sounds like a stretch. Bear with me while I explain.

The Nationals are in possession of Stephen Strasburg, who they are shutting down for the season because he’s got an “owie,” and they just signed the top catching prospect of the past 25 years. They’re set on defense forever.

The thing that makes the Nationals devious is who’s running the ship: Stan Kasten.  If you’re from Atlanta you know Stan very well.

Having an evil person in your front office automatically makes you suspicious on every level.  You could say that the Nationals are bumbling idiots, but Stan Kasten is evil.

Think of Stan the same way you thought of Marge Schott – badly.  Marge was an evil bigot and Stan is just a jerk in a suit.

He talks about managing Strasburg’s arm “tenderly,” but he’ll play hardball with Scott Boras. He’ll act like he cares, but he’ll screw with Boras AGAIN over the Harper deal.

Nationals fans, I know you’re out there, Stan Kasten traded Dominique Wilkins to the Clippers and told everyone ‘Nique wanted a trade.  That was a lie! You just wait until Strasburg becomes a liability and Kasten ships him to the White Sox for prospects and says, “Stephen wanted a change of scenery.”

You might think I’m crazy, but when it happens you’ll be eating crow.  Stan Kasten is the most devious of the devious. He’s the demon spawn of Davy Jones.

Whether it’s the coach, the front office, or the owner there are devious teams everywhere. We want to cry about “dirty players,” but no one ever talks about “dirty teams.”

If you reflect on it you might find that your hometown team isn’t much better.  That may be a hard pill to swallow, but it’s better to figure it out now before you endure an 86-year curse.

Dr. Steroids

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