MLB Week 2 Sluggers and Slugs
After week two of the major league baseball season, pitchers are starting to find their stride and hitters are dialing in at the plate.
I’m happy to say that the Washington Nationals are 6–6 two weeks into the season and still haven’t called up rookie phenom Stephen Strasburg. Health care reform seems to be the only thing making more headlines than the Nats in D.C.
Another uplifting sign from the past week was the Houston Astros winning their first series of the season. They beat the Chicago Cubs this past weekend — the first of many signs for Cubs fans that the 100-year-plus World Series drought isn’t over.
Continuing major league baseball news, the pubs in Boston must be filled with fans drinking away early season woes after falling five games behind the New York Yankees and the Tampa Bay Rays.
Finally, who moved into the “Penthouse” — you can probably guess who’s still in the “Cellar” — from last week? And, which players had notable second weeks around the diamond?
Penthouse Pimpin’ and Cellar Dwellers
No. 1 — The Rays move into the top reservation in the Penthouse as the Philadelphia Phillies fall completely out of the top three. The Rays are winners of 6 straight and 6–0 in road games this season. They’re basically telling Bud Selig to stuff his idea about realignment.
No. 2 — The Minnesota Twins stay in second slot. The Twinkies finally got rid of the horrid “Homer Dome” and opened the beautiful outdoor Target Field. Signing Joe Mauer, opening Target Field and winning should allow the Twins to be a top revenue team. Great moves by ownership give me no reason to believe they won’t sign young talent.
No. 3 — The Yankees move into the top three this week and will most likely spend the majority of the this past week, and I have no reason to believe they are not the favorites. Sorry, Boston and Philly.
No. 28 — This week, the Kansas City Royals are out, and I have a four-way tie for this position. The Arizona Diamondbacks, New York Mets, Chicago White Sox and Boston Red Sox all looked equally terrible this past week. I don’t expect these teams to stay near the bottom for too long, but I also didn’t anticipate the Oakland Athletics to be knocking on the door of the top three.
No. 29 — The bottom two have flip-flopped spots. The Astros actually won a series. We probably won’t say that too many times this season. If it happens as many times as the National Enquirer says Brad Pitt cheats on Angelina Jolie, they will consider it a successful season.
No. 30 — The Baltimore Orioles — ESPN’s Buster Olney reports on a private conversation between owner Peter Angelos and Cal Ripken, confirmed by Foxsports.com, in which Angelos said he wouldn’t hire Ripken to work with the team. Angelos denied the rumors. Mr. Angelos, if Ripken wants your job, give it to him. Because you guys suck!
Heros and Zeros
Jose Guillen of the Royals had a week where he did more pounding than a male adult film star. Guillen hit .462, with 3 HRs and 5 RBIs to lead the struggling offense of the Royals.
The Cleveland Indians have the Asian version of the Cavaliers LeBron James in Shin-Soo Choo. Choo had a week in which he hit .579, with 3 HRs and 11 RBIs. This included a monster grand slam which propelled them past the White Sox.
The Yankees AJ Burnett is proving that he is worth all the money they pay him. Judd Law should start taking notes. Burnett went 2-0, with a 1.29 ERA in 14 innings, getting the Yanks off to fast start.
The Yankees Mark Teixeira is known as being a slow starter, but the week he just had wasn’t slow, it was pathetic. Teixeira went 2–20 with 1 HR and 3 RBIs. When he hit the home run, Teixeira appeared more relieved than a woman who just completed a natural birth.
The Royals Gil Meche is coming back from injury, and there have been rumors that the Royals would like to trade him if he performs well. Not even the Os want him right now. Meche gave up 5 earned in his last start, raising his season ERA to 11.57.
The Los Angeles Dodgers Matt Kemp must be taken care of at home by Rihanna, because he taking care of it on the field. Kemp hit .333, with 4 HRs and 8 RBIs, and somehow, the Dodgers still seem to struggle.
The Phillies Chase Utley dropped bombs like he was at war this past week — no regard for whoever got in his way. Utley hit .333, with 5 HRs and 8 RBIs, but they still stumbled with the loss of Jimmy Rollins.
The Colorado Rockies Ubaldo Jimenez threw the first no-hitter in team history. Although Jimenez had six walks, he managed to strike out seven and get some great defensive plays. Jimenez was clocked early at 100 on the gun and was still throwing 97 in the 9th inning.
The Mets big off-season acquisition, Jason Bay, has been an early season disappointment, hitting .217 this past week in 46 plate appearances. Along with the team’s early season struggles, Bay’s performance has to make for some cranky New Yorkers.
The D-Backs relief has been a joke this season, especially closer Chad Qualls. In back-to-back outings, Qualls blew save opportunities to the Dodgers. His 13.50 ERA this past week looked like the price of admission to a movie. At least, a movie might be worth watching.