MLB: Lincecum, Thomas, and Glavine Learn How to Deal

[topsy_retweet_big]There are many things that all athletes have to deal with; pressure, injuries, media and many more. When I think of the word “deal”, I automatically think of problem or conflict.

Tim Lincecum has just dealt with contract negotiations and landed himself a pretty nice deal. Maybe now he can afford a hair cut so I can stop mistaking him for Ellen Page (Juno).

Frank Thomas and Tom Glavine have to deal with transitioning from being a major league ball player, to a retired, rich, early middle aged man. I know what you’re thinking, would someone please give me that problem.

Everyone deals with things differently, how will these three men deal with their current situations?

Lincecum’s Smok’in New Deal

Lincecum has reached an agreement to a new, two year $23 million dollar deal. This comes after an off season incident in which he was stopped for speeding and the officer confiscated 3.3 grams of  marijuana.

The two-time NL Cy Young Award winner is well worth the new contract. Lincecum will receive a hefty raise from the $650,000 salary of last season, to $8 million this season and $13 million in 2011.

There are also a bunch of bonus clauses in the contract. The one I find most interesting is $75,000 for winning World Series MVP. If Lincecum wins the World Series for a club with no offense, they better make all their pitchers grow mullets, because it’s got to be the hair.

At only 25 years of age he is the best player the Giants have and possibly the most valuable player in the National League.

This deal is contingent on Lincecum passing a physical, if Timothy wants the green, his urine better be clean.

Glavine Must Enjoy Losing

Glavine has reached a deal to become the assistant to Braves president John Schuerholz. Roughly meaning, please come to the ball park once a week, shake some hands, kiss some babies, and wave because our pathetic fans love you.

The dominant lefty was part of the best three man regular season rotation that I have ever seen. Greg Maddux, John Smoltz, and Glavine all started for the Braves, and all did so in the prime of their careers.

That same pitching rotation was also a part of the most underachieving post season team I have ever witnessed. For a 7 – 10 year period I knew the Braves would lose in the post season, like I know its cold in Antarctica and Roseanne will never be skinny.

The only reason Glavine is going back to the Braves is to help him deal with the transition of not playing baseball anymore. This new job will last a couple of seasons and he’ll end up on the golf course finishing runner up just like he did on the diamond.

Thomas Retires, Is Chicago Hurt

Frank Thomas, “The Big Hurt” retired from baseball today after 19 seasons in Major League Baseball.

This was news to me since his numbers suggested that he retired in 2000. The home runs were there, but so was the steroid era, making that statistic obsolete. After posting a plus three hundred average in 10 of his first 11 seasons he never did this again.

Thomas is one of the great first basemen/DH of my generation. Do I think his numbers were aided by PED’s (performance enhancing drugs)? Yes! Do I care? No!

There are a lot of things I’ll buy; roses on Valentines Day, $14 beers at the ball park, and even tampons upon my girls request. One thing I’m not buying is that Thomas was clean in a generation of power hitting PED users.

It was a very solid career for “The Big Hurt”, and will be remembered as one of the greatest White Soxs of all-time. So what’s next for Thomas in life after baseball? Maybe his agent should call Michael Clark Duncan to see if he needs a body double.

Dr. Steroids

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