What does an employment action group have to with soccer? I hear you ask.
“You could do an article on cleats,” said Teresa. “I’ve always wanted to know the difference between men and women” (cleats). Although I agreed with her in principle and her dulcet tone made the proposition more attractive, I squirmed inwardly at the thought of examining all those feet, fresh with the scent of battle. Knowing the socks I’ve played soccer with, you will appreciate my deliberately not attaching any graphic at this point. Then again, some feet could no doubt be pleasantly explored and suitably tested for optimum response. Technology has improved them, marketing has sold them, but basically a cleat is a cleat and their usefulness is directly related to the conditions of the surface you are playing upon.
“How about the environment?” or words to that effect said Ilia, in a beautifully voiced phrase that only people who erroneously assume their English is somewhat less than perfect can deliver. “Well yeah! I could write about soccer pitches and taking care of grass in the off season and so on, but who would want to read it?” I responded in most unperfectlike English, nonetheless emerging effortlessly from my tongue.
Miguel looked up from his script and displayed all the characteristics of a recently Myers-Briggs assessed ENTP. With political savvy fortified by a neoteric hair cut, he rejected my dismissal of the environment as an enlightening soccer topic. He further announced that if elected, his first priority in government would be to make soccer compulsory in schools and the study of grass growing could usefully replace paint drying in the current curriculum as a new media presentation subject.
Cherryl had some authentic questions about Indian bands and minorities and soccer. It was probably good for a full article in its’ own right. But it is nice to reflect that at a time when NATO is bombing Kosovo, there are more countries in FIFA (the world’s governing soccer body) than there are in the United Nations.
Now in any group of fifteen people, there is bound to be at least one humourist. I have to tell you that Serge is my man when it comes to lighthearted relief, in a non-profit sort of way. He periodically interjects gems that imperceptibly touch the parts the other beers don’t reach. At the height of explaining the benefits of details in covering letters compared to resumes, Serge provided the morning’s most poignant moment when he suggested the inclusion of blood type in his resume. I couldn’t beat that although the thought occurred to me to include an alcohol count while we’re at it.
Hopefully, Will is writing a song about soccer, Ken is putting the sound together and Robin has made progress on the computer graphics. Catherine is already looking ahead to the TV production and Pu is preparing to take the network global. Kamara adds rhythm to the project and it wouldn’t be the same without her. Helen analyses the possibilities and is negotiating North American rights while Irvin keeps the records straight. Larry wanted to know if I felt Manchester United’s profit of 88 million pounds sterling last year could be surpassed. Much as I hate short answers and prefer to pontificate ad nauseum, I said “Yeah!” With that historic treble-winning season just ended, merchandising sales alone are bound to renew them as the world’s richest club, and probably $60 million ahead of second place. “Oh! you mean our project?”
At this juncture, let me introduce Joan and Jean, the adaptable, amenable, compatible, interchangeable, and otherwise flexible course instructors. Joan thinks I should write about golf, and she’s right. Jean tells us to prioritize and choose the write way, and she’s right. So here I am at the end of a great soccer season in Europe and on the lookout for topics to entertain you while we wait for the next season to start. Rest assured I will not fail. The wheels are turning, the ball is rolling, the greens are smooth and I am writing.