What Do Tiger And The NFL Have In Common?

Tiger Woods had his little “confession” today, and now I want some real answers.  Tiger made a “blah” statement, and he didn’t take any questions.  “Tiger, if I may be so bold…”

Would You Like To Clarify…

…why you chose to hold this press conference in the middle of the Accenture Match Play?  Are still mad at Accenture for dropping you?

I can understand being a little peeved–even hurt–but you’re stepping on the toes of every golfer in the tournament by dropping into the middle of THEIR event.

If you were playing the Accenture that would be one thing, but you’re “out of it” right now.  Ernie Els said you were a selfish bastard.  Ok, he didn’t call you a bastard, but that would have been appropriate.  You can’t rain on everyone’s parade because you feel like it.

Do you think the rules fluctuate?  Can you simply do one thing here and another thing there because you’re Tiger Woods?  That’s pretty selfish and pathetic.

I think Tiger and Roger Goodell would get along.

Roger Goodell changes the rules every 5 seconds.  When Dante Stallworth was reinstated he had to wait a while before getting signed.  It was like the Commissioner told everyone to wait just to make him suffer.

When Michael Vick was reinstated everyone on earth was allowed to bid for him and the Eagles snatched him up quick.

When Pacman Jones had never been convicted of anything he got suspended.  Leonard Little killed somebody with his car and he never got suspended.    You get the idea.

Tiger and the NFL think they make up the rules.

Can You Explain…

…why you showed almost no emotion during your press conference?  I would have thought that you might break out of your “robotic press darling” shell and acted like a real man.  Show us how you feel.

You didn’t do that so we have to assume you feel nothing or you just don’t get it.  The only discernible emotion came when he was blaming the media for reporting that Elin may have beat his ass.

So, Tiger only feels emotion when he wants us to know how right he is and how wrong we are?  Cute.

The NFL is no different.  When the Bills are down the league chastises their fans for not supporting the team enough.  After the accusation they threaten to let the team move to Toronto.  On top of that they make the Bills play some games in Toronto just to make sure the fans “get it”.

Tiger and the NFL only care when they feel they’ve been wronged or they’re losing money.  How nice.

Can You Tell Me…

…something I want to hear?  When I was reminded that Tiger’s press conference was today I tweeted:

“if #tigerwoods says anything other than that he’s playing the #masters i don’t effing care”

I have no idea when Tiger will ever tell us anything of substance ever again.  Unless he’s playing a major I just don’t care.

When the NFL makes a big announcement it’s to tell us that the Bucs and Raiders are playing in London.  WHO CARES!?

If you’re making a big splash I want to hear that the Pro Bowl is being played after the Super Bowl next year.  The fans would actually like that because they might actually be able to afford to travel to the game.  I’m just saying…

One More Thing Mr. Woods…

…can you tell me if the Commissioner spoke out of turn?  I know the Commissioner doesn’t speak for you, but could you comment on why he told everyone you were going back to rehab?

Tiger I know that you are committing yourself to fixing your family, but don’t need to know you’re in “sex rehab”.  Seriously!?  This sounds like a bad turn on “Celebreality” on VH1.

Moreover, if you told Tim Finchem, did he have to vomit that information on us?  You actually sound more grotesque than before.  It’s kinda creepy.  Not everything needs to be known.  That was an “over-share” Tiger.

The NFL does the same thing.  Think about it.  They “over-share” on everything.

They require reporting on EVERY injury and publish a report every week.  This actually crosses the line of things I don’t care about.

When I’m watching the ticker on the 4-letter network I expect “breaking news” to be a trade, retirement, catastrophic injury, or suspension.  Nope, some dude I’ve never heard of pulled his groin.  UGH!

We don’t need to know every detail of everything.  It’s like you’re forcing us to be voyeuristic.  Some of us just don’t roll that way!

How do we deal with over-indulged athletes and sports leagues?  Laugh.  No…really…laughter is the best medicine.  These people don’t live in the real world, but at least it’s good comedy.

Sorry Tiger.  I’m chuckling inside because you’re so full of yourself.  You make me laugh.  What can I say?

Dr. Steroids

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