It’s easy to spend three hours getting ready in the bathroom for a night out with your guy. But when he cancels thirty minutes prior because he has to work late, you’re sitting there on the couch—black dress, nails painted, hair done-up, perfume-ready—highly disappointed. It’s not only the fact that he canceled but the preparation it took to look your best which leads me to the topic of this article: stop sweating the small stuff!
Of course men like their women to be beautiful and sexy, but believe or not they don’t really care about the little things we tend to stress over in order to maintain this “vision” we want to portray.
Makeup Schmakeup
One thing I’ve heard countless men say is how they hate kissing lipstick. According to www.fluther.com, the average person consumes 1-2 pounds of lipstick every year. Yes, that is disgusting to think about. So when you’re running late for a date because you’re struggling to find the right color lipstick to match your outfit – remember that it’s not a big deal if you’re not wearing any.
Your dude’s not going to leave you standing on the sidewalk if you come out of the house with bare lips. And when it’s time for that good night smooch, you won’t have to watch him wipe his mouth with that disgusted look on his face when you’re wearing lipstick.
Makeup in general is a great tool to enhance the features we have, but as we age, less is more. I am not exactly sure why but I think as our features become more chiseled and pronounced, we don’t need as much makeup to highlight them. Instead of caking on the foundation and blush, try some loose powder or bronzer. I’m sure your man will appreciate getting fewer smudges on his white shirts.
Another thing about piling on makeup is when it’s gone the next morning and your boyfriend doesn’t recognize you…awkward! Men do notice when we wear too much makeup and will mention the “next-day fright” incident to their buddies.
Getting Your Hair and Nails “Did”
There’s nothing like relaxing in a massage chair and getting a pedicure. It’s also very soothing to get your hair washed, but these luxuries can get expensive. Spending thirty dollars every two weeks on a mani/pedi and fifty dollars to get your hair done adds up. Men do appreciate a woman who is well-groomed but when it comes down to noticing that new electric blue shade you put on your toes, he probably could care less.
For those that get hair extensions and weaves, this once seemed like something only African-American women did—but nowadays everyone from Beyonce, Jessica Simpson, Paris Hilton to John Travolta is using them. This stuff is pricey ranging anywhere from the hundreds to the thousands depending on the quality of the hair.
When it comes down to those two extra inches that you added just to toss your hair back at a candlelight dinner — he might not notice it! My point is don’t kill yourself financially over your hair and nails. A man isn’t going to stop dating you if every hair is not in place or your toenails and fingernails aren’t matching.
Skin Issues
Stretch marks, scars, cellulite, spots, acne, freckles, moles, birth marks – most of that stuff is more noticeable to us than to men. It is normal to have a few of these things in your lifetime but there is no point in over-stressing. It’s almost impossible to have perfect skin and if you have a picture of someone who does, it’s awesome genes or great airbrushing.
Let’s just put it this way – imperfections are what make each of us unique. So if you’re spending three hours in the bathroom locked in a homemade mud wrap because you’re afraid your man’s going to leave you because you have some cellulite, think again!
If you’re stressing about wrinkles or crow’s feet and considering a little Botox here or nip/tuck there, think about how some of the most celebrated actresses like Helen Mirren, Angela Bassett, and Susan Sarandon haven’t had surgery and have aged gracefully.
Remember that plastic surgery is a medical procedure that although is very popular now can have severe side effects is something goes wrong. Some of the common side effects of Botox are as facial pain, muscle weakness, droopy eyelids and more. You have to ask yourself if it’s worth the risk to have these procedures done in order to feel more confident about aging.
Costume Changes
Isn’t it funny how sometimes when you look at a couple’s closet, one-fourth is usually the man’s clothes and three-fourths are the woman’s? The word “shopping” and “women” seems synonymous and we tend to get a little carried away with finding the right outfit for every occasion.
When you first start dating, a man may notice your outfit but I guarantee after you’ve been together for awhile he can’t recall that new sweater you wore last Tuesday. It’s not that he doesn’t care, it’s just that he’s probably more interested in spending time with you. You don’t have to wear a brand-new outfit for every occasion. Men notice how LONG it takes us to get ready rather than what we have on. Spend less time in the closet and more time enjoying a night out.
High heels are no exception. Wearing heels all the time is not only bad for your feet but can be quite tricky when you’re treading through grass at a soccer game in 10-inch Louboutins.
Bird Feeding
Sometimes when we’re out to dinner, we order something small even though we are starving because we don’t want guys to think we’re pigging out. In the beginning, it can be anxiety and nerves that’s affecting your appetite but after awhile there’s nothing wrong with eating a healthy amount of food in front of your man.
If you only have three lettuce leaves for dinner because you want to portray this “eating like a bird” image and then secretly pull into In-N-Out later for a Double-Double, you might have as well have ordered something at dinner.
If you’re worried that he will think less of you if he sees that you actually do ingest food, stop stressing out. Better to enjoy a great meal with him than to binge later and feel guilty about it.
We can’t always be perfect in every aspect of how we look, but we can make the most of what we have and celebrate our individual qualities. If someone can’t appreciate the stripped down, no makeup, messy hair, chipped nails, skin flaws and all version of you then they don’t deserve any of you at all. Most of these things that we, as women, stress about take away from the time we can actually spend enjoying who we are.