Mistakes Men Make: First Date Turn-offs
To piggy-back on last week’s article Humor is definitely a turn-on for most women. It shows us that a man doesn’t take life too seriously and is able to let down his inhibitions. One thing, however, that can turn us off is the overly sarcastic and sometimes sardonic humor and jokes.
“Seinfield” is a great show, but if after everything she says, you have some witty sarcastic remark to counter it, she might get turned off. If she says something like, “Do you enjoy bars?” and you say something like “Oh yes, I enjoy a plié or a Rond de Jambe here and there” and instead of a laugh you get a blank stare, she may have missed your joke.
This starts an endless cycle of her feeling like your alienating her with your humor and you wanting to climb into the hole because she doesn’t get your jokes.
Don’t get me wrong — not all women dismiss witty sarcasm, but there’s a time and place for everything . . . including double entendres.
The “Wired” Man
Running your own business or being the corporate-type is a plus for a man because it not only shows us that you have a job, but that you have entrepreneurial-like qualities.
On your first date, though, I suggest leaving your business Blackberry at home or in the car and refrain from excessive texting on your personal phone. Now that we’re immersed in the “Information Age,” we’ve made it so that anyone can have access to us at any given moment.
Notifications for missed calls, emails, MySpace, Facebook, etc., are all linked to our phones and can become distractions. Having a phone for emergency purposes is wise for everyone, but having your phone beep every other minute because someone hit up your Facebook while you’re on a first date is definitely a turn-off.
Accepting business calls on the date is also a no-no because it gives the impression that your date is not important and that you’re not taking it seriously. Put your phone on silent, and give your undivided attention to the beautiful woman in front of you. You can deal with those life-changing status updates on Twitter later.
Dirty car, bad breath, ripped t-shirt and jeans, filthy fingernails — need I say more? The effort you put into your appearance is a reflection on the effort you put into your relationships.
If you know you’re going on a date make sure you do some sprucing up to your appearance. If you’re picking the woman up from her house and your car is full of cigarette butts and fast-food wrappers galore –this is a sign that you’re messy. Even if your house is immaculate, she will never know because she will not want to find out after she encounters your vehicular clutter.
The Ex Factor
Please, please, please steer clear from rambling on about your ex-girlfriend, ex-wife, or a ex-anything on your first date. Of course, the subject of past relationships may come up because you’re obviously dating.
Going on and on about what an ex put you through is the quickest way to let a woman know you’re not over the past. It’s a definite red flag when you constantly compare every aspect about her.
Most women don’t want to work hard at undoing someone else’s mess and you don’t want to miss your chance at someone great because you can’t stop rambling on someone who wasn’t.
The Cheapskate versus the High Roller
Yes, we live in the age where women truly want equality, but a definite turn-off is a man looking at the menu, commenting that that Prime Rib is fifty dollars and then counting the money in his wallet.
Making the excuse himself to call and check your credit card limit only to return and say, “How about we go dutch?” is also not a good option. Yes, we want to be treated equal, but if you’ve asked the woman out on the first date, unless you’ve decided to go dutch ahead of time, the polite thing to do is to pay for the meal.
These days, a woman may offer to pay half of the bill when it comes, but I suggest paying for the first couple of dates until you get to know each other a bit more. Once she see’s that you’re sincere and generous, going dutch won’t seem like a big deal and she’ll want to pick up the tab sometimes out of appreciation.
On the other hand, if you are constantly talking about how much money you make, how expensive your car is and how much you paid for that diamond stud in your ear, she might get turned off and think you’re materialistic.
This is not the impression you want to give on a first date, especially if you are the complete opposite. There are so many components to a successful first date and materialism is not one of them.
These turn-offs may seem like generalizations, and I’m sure there are tons more turn-offs that aren’t covered in this article.
The most important thing about dating in general is being yourself. If you’re a frugal, witty, sarcastic guy who constantly talks about his past relationships — and have trouble getting to the second date – this could be why.
Remember that for woman, it is not all about the physical, there are so many other attributes we look for in a man.
Additional Reading on SteroidsLive:
- Internet Dating Tips for Women
- Conquering First Encounters with Women: Is She in to You?
- Conquering Encounters with Women: Female Body Language