The NBA Begins and The Turnpike Series is Here

Last night the NBA began its regular season and through my entire season preview I talked so much smack about the Cavs and the Celtics that if I didn’t address their season opening game then I’m just be crapping out and avoiding the obvious differences between what I predicted and what actually happened.  I turned on the game and let it ride for a little while before it seemed like I didn’t want to watch the same thing happen over and over.  The wife got home and I decided I’d had enough.  Hours later when I saw the final score I knew what had happened.  It didn’t even matter that I didn’t see the whole game…I KNEW what happened.  WTRM and Back to Life, Back to Reality will tell the tale…

What This Really Means…

The Cavs and Celts open the season on TNT: WTRM…The league wants these two teams in the East Finals and they’ll do anything to make sure we have it on the brain ALL season.  Not that I would mind if they played in the East Finals, I really don’t, I just don’t think this has a snowballs chance in hell of happening.  {On a side note:  Don’t you think sometimes the “conventional wisdom picks” for playoff series are totally off?  I mean, it sounds cute that we want to see the Cavs and Celts in the East Finals, but wouldn’t it be funny to see the Hawks and the Cavs, or the Celts and the Bucks, or the Magic and the Wizards?  I think sometimes we need a reason to chuckle.  This doesn’t excuse bad basketball, but it would be funny to watch a pathetic team like the Wizards play the Magic or to watch the Hawks get another shot at a much older Celtics team.  There is comedy in sports everywhere we look, but it’s usually some official getting pancaked in a football game or some kid falling over the railing trying to catch a fly ball.  I want to laugh at the players.  Players who are out of their element are funny. Can you imagine the Tweets you could read from someone like Gilbert Arenas while he’s getting ridden like a show pony by Dwight Howard’s Magic?  What if they were actually beating the Magic?  Oh my gosh I would PAY to read those. “I think the vein in D12′s neck is gonna pop!  I wonder if I hard foul him what he’ll do this time?  Punch me?  What does it matter?  He can’t make the free throws anyways ;o)” I want to see that…oh how I want to see that.

Shaq looked like he could hardly move: WTRM…Shaq was as bad a pick-up as I said he was.  It isn’t rocket science trying to figure this out.  If the big dude comes out and can’t move in the FIRST GAME then he won’t be able to move all season.  Love him or hate him (I hate him for the record) you have to admit that he just can’t do it anymore.  Phoenix thought they hit the lottery when they got him and he didn’t do ish in Phoenix.  So, he goes to Cleveland hoping to bring the King a title.  Well, Skip Bayless calls LeBron the Prince and I think he’s right.  Look at what’s going on in Cleveland:

Mo Williams looks terrible.  Daniel Gibson didn’t look too awful.  Ilgauskas is still throwing up terrible outside jumpers.  Varejao has nice hair.  And LeBron is all over the place.  Now, they lost that game but LeBron did alot of great looking stuff.  He’s a specimen.  He’s an amazing player.  He can drag this team to the playoffs by himself, but he can’t be doing this all season.  Moreover, he isn’t a closer.  Kobe closes games.  Paul Pierce used to be able to close games.  TD can close games.  LeBron can’t close games.  He hit one lucky sideways 3 at the end of a playoff game last season (in a Series his team lost.  Basically he only prolonged their suffering.)  LeBron right now is the Atlanta Braves of the NBA(except I don’t like him as a blonde.)  I know he’s not as old as MJ was when he got his first ring, but this is looking eerily Braves-like.  He kills it in the regular season and can’t close the deal.  He’ll wear himself out before he knows it.  At the Braves were a team with multiple guys on it.  Every time they killed someone they could just make a deal and get someone else.  LeBron can’t replace himself.  LeBron is doomed if he keeps this up. Frankly, I don’t want to watch a gassed LeBron play an older-than-dirt Celtics team in the East Finals or a limping LeBron play Kobe in the Finals while Kobe sits in a lawn chair and watches Pau and Lamar carry the load until the 4th Quarter when Kobe finally gets out of the lawn chair and closes the game out.  That’s not exciting to me…and I’m a Lakers fan.

All I’m saying is, think about who you want to see.  Personally, I’d love to read funny tweets from Gilbert Arenas than watch LeBron fall asleep on the bench.

The Celtics looked older than dirt early in the game: WTRM…The Celtics can play in spurts.  If they get really good matchups they can rotate through the “3 Amigos” and make it work.  IF they are looking at unfavorable matchups then they can’t get around too well.

I saw Paul Pierce try to make a move inside at least half a dozen times last night and he couldn’t get up and around anybody.  He doesn’t have the legs to just straight up run past someone.  Either he needs to change that move or he’s going to be throwing up off-balance jumpers all season because he’ll only have a clear running lane once every 10 times he has the ball in half-court situations.

The Celts can do alot of substituting and put in some guys who can take some of the pressure off PP and KG but at the end f the day one of those two guys has to do the heavy lifting at the end of the game.  Last night it worked out for the Celtics, but how long can they keep this up?  KG is old and beat up, PP has no speed, and Ray Allen can only take (and hit) so many ridiculous 3′s.  If they don’t figure this out they’ll be trying to win every game like they did against the Bulls in the playoffs last year.  [Get out in front, give up the lead, get it back, give it up again, let Ray take 5 or 6 insano 3’s and leave with a W.] You can only do that for so long before they league figure out how to defend against it.  Congratulations to the Celtics for opening with a win, but they have MAJOR issues…

The Cavs gave the game back even though the Celtics have all of these blatant and glaring issues: WTRM:  I’m right about the Cavs being a one man show.  It doesn’t take much for a Basketball game to get in the hands of one guy and sooner rather than later the Cavs said “Hey, Lebron.  You hold this one for us?”  And, because he had no choice, LeBron did EVERYTHING.  You can only do so much with powder and eventually you’ve go to produce.  The problem is that LeBron is not the carnal/animal/violent closer that other great players have been.  That wouldn’t be a huge issue except he also has NOBODY to help him.  Now, all he’s got is himself and that powder.  (I bet the powder plays the 5 better than Shaq.)  In the end he won’t beat himself (because not all greats who won titles were nutso closers, it just seems that that’s the trend right now.)  No, his own team will beat him and he’ll be gone at the end of the season for that very reason.  It’s a shame, but it’s true.  No, I don’t feel sorry for him.  He should’ve done what Kobe did.  Take the PR hit and say “no” to Shaq.  Kobe had some lean years after that, but right now he’s looking like he was in the right the whole time.  What will LeBron have to show after Shaq gets done with him?

…in the end it will all come down to these truths and not the prevailing wisdom.  It’s the same reason why the Magic were in the Finals last year and the same reason why they will be again this year…yeah, I’m calling it.  Orlando out of the East.  (Yes, I talked hardcore smack about them the other day.  You got a better pick?)

Back to Life, Back to Reality…

The Turnpike Series starts up tonight and as the Phillies drive through the “Oil and Petrochemical Refinery State” (as Sandra Bullock so beautifully put it) I hope they realize that they are in an evenly matched series.  Look who hasn’t come BTL, BTR and tell me you don’t have misgivings.  A-Rod is on fire.  He’s hot.  He doing timely hitting in almost every game the Yankees have played and has yet to miss a beat.  He’s a man on a mission.  That’s why I’m concerned.  If the Yankees want to win the World Series (their 40th by the way…I mean damn, that’s alot of Series) then they NEED him to be the hot-off-the-grill hitter he’s been of late.  If he goes south then they are screwed.

Aren’t you just a little bit anxious that he hasn’t BTL, BTRed yet?  If it doesn’t give you pause I don’t know what will…

Then there’s another two who get to face off and who don’t come from the best heritage.  Cliff Lee and C.C. Sabathia are responsible for the last 2 Cy Young awards in the AL and both of them come from Cleveland.  What do they do in Cleveland?  They DON’T win championships.  As good as these two guys are (and as good a guys as people say they are) you cannot look over the fact that they both are coming from Cleveland where they haven’t won a major sports title since the TeaPot Dome Scandal. Obviously both teams can’t have bad karma because of this but you know one of them is gonna get it.  Given the recent success of the Phillies and the recent “unsuccess” of the Yankees I’m gonna have to go with the Yankees getting snakebitten on this one.  Fat pitchers don’t really work out, and I think CC’s gained about 50 pounds since he got traded.  So, he brings his non-inning ways from Cleveland and that sort of gets on his mojo. Now, he can only play so many games, but I bet the Yankees lose his game(or games) 20-0.

Finally, the last dude who hasn’t come BTL, BTR is Derek Jeter.  He’s the steadiest of steady hands.  I bet he’s a monster poker player.  I mean MONSTER.  I know he’s got enough cheese, but he must DESTROY people with the cards.  With that said, he’s gone cold before, but never in the playoffs.  So, he holds it together and he can keep the team emotionally stable, but can A-Rod not BTL, BTR?  I don’t know…I really don’t.  I think I created more questions than I asked.  (or answered…)

If I had to call it, based on this alone, I’d say that CC down + Cliff up + A-Rod’s potential BTL, BTR – Charlie Manuel’s cool head = Phillies in 7…and a close 7 at that.  I mean 2 outs, everybody on and the Phils needs a grand slam and Jimmy Rollins gets it with two strikes…that kinda close.

Come back Friday for a look at SEC officials and the picks from The General

Dr. Steroids

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