The General’s Top 5 Mock Draft

The NFL Draft is a couple months away, but after the Super Bowl everyone gets into “Draft Mode”.  This “Draft Mode” leads teams to cut players, open up cap space, and start making their “needs” known.

I could sit here and do a complete “Mock Draft”, but some teams require little discussion, and others “just plain suck”.  However, there are 5 MAJOR needs that I think should be addressed.  Those needs are to follow.

True, all 32 teams will be mentioned, but only 5 things MUST get done in April for the “uncapped” 2010 season to be any fun.

Things are already getting fun because the Dolphins cut Joey Porter, but had to put him back on the roster.  The Falcons re-signed Brian Finneran.  Brett Favre is still in limbo, and the Bengals auditioned Pacman Jones.

Can we say “stupid, stupid, and stupider”?  I hope we see a little “bitchassness” from some teams, but too much might be a little overwhelming.

Let’s do this in draft order as if it were April 22nd.

With the first selection in the 2010 NFL Draft the:

1.  St. Louis Rams select:

A New Quarterback.  The Rams seem to have given up on the Marc Bulger experiment and I say, “FINALLY”!  I don’t really care if they take Sam Bradford, Colt McCoy, or Tim Tebow—they just NEED a QB.

Personally, they could select me and that would make the season more fun.  Why, because I’d be starting from “Day #1”.  When the Rams put a rookie QB on the field behind an offensive line filled with high draft choices it’s gonna get ugly.

Whichever QB they take will be dead by the end of the season, and in 4 years will be David Carr 2.0.  I can’t wait for the fallout!

Detroit Lions select:  Who cares?  They’re the Lions and they’ll blow it.  Can we rename them “The Clippers” and get it over with?

Tampa Bay Buccaneers select:  It doesn’t matter.  They suckered us with that phony Super Bowl win against the joke-worthy Raiders.  Crawl back into your hole already.

2.  Washington Redskins select:

An offensive lineman who can anchor Mike Shanahan’s new offense.  No more “Cracker Jack” crap.  He should take a 10-12-year lineman that he can build a zone-blocking line around.  He does that and Bill Clinton could run for 1000 yards.

Kansas City Chiefs select:  Who cares?  They royally suck.

Seattle Seahawks select:  I used to think this should be Tim Tebow, but he clearly can’t take a snap from center or pass.  So, they could do anything and it won’t matter.  If Pete Carroll has total control he’ll have to wait a whole year to use it.

Cleveland Browns select:  They need a new Quarterback but they won’t admit it.  This franchise is so pathetic.

Oakland Raiders select:  Someone they don’t need, who can’t play, and isn’t proven.  He’ll also make too much money and suck the life out of the “Raider Nation”.

Buffalo Bills select:  Some guy Chan Gailey will be overly loyal to until said player gets Chan fired.

3.  Jacksonville Jaguars select:

Everyone wants them to take Tim Tebow, but if they take Tebow he’d better be NOT a Quarterback.  If the Jags select Tebow and sell tickets I’m fine with that.

However, if they select him and try to replace David Garrard with Tebow I’ll be laughing because we’ve already seen that Tebow can’t throw and can’t take a snap.

You can say that Drew Brees doesn’t take many snaps under Center, but he can throw.  Everyone keeps forgetting that!

Denver Broncos select:  It doesn’t matter.  They’ll make it work.  Joshie had a good first season and only good things can come in the future.

Miami Dolphins select:  Hopefully a Linebacker to replace Joey Porter after they figure out how to get rid of him.

San Francisco 49ers select:  Somebody to keep Alex Smith upright?

Seattle Seahawks select:  I suppose they could take Tebow here and play it off like, “Oh, well that was our OTHER 1st rounder.  We can screw that one up and it’s ok.”

New York Giants select:  Someone to keep Eli Manning upright…please!

Tennessee Titans select:  A new running-mate for Kyle Vanden Bosch.  For all that is holy; that poor man is lonely up front!

San Francisco 49ers select:  A bruising safety would be nice: Perhaps Major Wright for his sheer “ballhogness”.

4. The Smart Kids

Pittsburgh, Atlanta, Houston, Cincinnati, New England, Green Bay, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Arizona, Dallas, New York Jets, Indianapolis, and New Orleans select:  Somebody who will pay dividends.

I think it’s clear that each of these teams have good management and will make a smart choice.  If someone in this group made a bad choice I think I might cry.

5.  I only left out two teams

The San Diego Chargers and Minnesota Vikings select:  The future.  These two teams select the future or they burn.  It’s that simple.

LDT is finished in San Diego and Darren Sproles does more special teams than he should.  They find a new Running Back or they perish even more painfully than they did this season.

The Vikings need to decide who their future at Quarterback is.  Forget Brett Favre for a minute.  Are Sage Rosenfels and Tavarus Jackson really your future?  Really?

Honestly, look at QB’s that fall this low and take someone whom you can mold into “the future”.  You might lose a year of productivity, but you’ll gain 10 years of success on the backend.

It only takes one false move for either one of these teams to find themselves on the “outside looking in”, and fast.

In The End

Someone will walk away a winner, but everyone will say they got what they wanted.  That’s the funniest thing in sports.  Watching guys act happy when you know they’re disappointed.

For my money the “pick of the day” is the Jags at #10.  If they take Tebow they set their franchise back AT LEAST 5 years.  Tim Tebow seems like a nice kid, but we all know he can’t hack it.

If those broadcasters in Jacksonville think David Garrard sucks, just wait until they get a whiff of someone who can’t take a snap.

Dr. Steroids

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