NBA Trade Deadline: Who Got a Face Lift

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NBA Trade Deadline: Who Got a Face Lift

The NBA trade deadline is approaching, some moves have already happened and some are rumored to get done before the 11th hour.

Trading players in the NBA seems to be similar to buying and selling in the stock market. I have a vague understanding of Wall Street and only slightly better knowledge of trading contracts and salary caps.

However, I do have solid comprehension of what the impact will be when the player lands in his new destination.

Some teams couldn’t be more obvious about giving up on the season and trying to increase their chances to get more ping pong balls in the lottery, (cough) Washington. Other teams look for that one player that could give them a shot at the finals.

The teams that really have a shot at the whole thing may look to add a role player.

Traded to the Hunt

A lot has been made of whether out not Amrae Stoudemire would be traded to the Cleveland Cavilers. Stoudemire’s bubble was busted on Wednesday afternoon when the Cavs made a trade to get Antawn Jamison.

The deal consisted of Jamison to the Cavs, Zydrunas Ilgauskas’ expiring contract to the Wizards, Al Thornton also to the Wiz, and the Clippers get Drew Gooden, who continues to get passed around like a pregnant prostitute at a CEO convention.

After this news, Jamison’s excitement level must have made him “crip walk”, like a Lil’ Wayne backup dancer. Not only have the Wiz been a early round punching bag for the Cavs, but he just joined the number one seed in the east.

I like Jamison as a little better fit for the Cavs than Stoudemire. Jamison can play in the paint when Shaq is out and shoot from the perimeter.

If the Cavs don’t make it to the finals now, Lebron James will be the biggest underachiever in the NBA.

Your Joking Right

Marcus Camby was traded from the all time worst franchise, Los Angeles Clippers, to the surging Portland Trail Blazers.

Camby was reportedly disappointed about the news. I’m confused. Did this trade ruin some sort of vacation plans he made for after the regular season? If I were Camby, getting traded from LA’s ugly stepchild would make me happier than fornicating with a super model.

This move makes the Trial Blazers a top four team in the west.

Shopping at the Wiz Players Sale

Just like Cleveland, the Dallas Mavericks also picked up some players from the “Everything Must Go Players Sales”.

Dallas picked up Caron Butler and Brendan Haywood. They got those two for Josh Howard, a couple bags of chips, and a meatball.

I believe Butler will thrive in this system like Howard used to before he started abusing the “wacky tobacky”. Haywood will definitely steel minutes from “Erica” Dampier.

I still don’t buy that this trade puts them equal with the Lakers or Nuggets. It could be the strong aftershave Mark Cuban wears called “Desperation”.

What’s Left on the Table

So what if Stoudemire didn’t get traded to the best team, he could still make the playoffs in the west. A couple of key injuries to the West’s top teams and the Suns could make some noise.

I still believe that there is an outside shot that Stoudemire could end up in Miami. That would be a very interesting combination between him and D Wade.

There are also some rumors starting to surface about Chris Bosh heading to the Chicago Bulls. That would be a great player for the Bulls to “rent” for this season and see if they can resign him with Derrick Rose.

The Boston Celtics are rumored to be interested in getting Knicks guard, Nate Robinson as the back up point guard. This is why the Celtics are playing themselves right out of the playoff conversation. They should just be honest and tell everyone they just need him for logistics, it’s tough to push those aging stars wheelchairs in the snow.

It has been another year of a bunch of teams talking about making trades that didn’t workout. The way I see NBA trading is like a Joan Rivers face lift, it happens every year and I still can’t tell the difference.

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